i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
