if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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