No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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