I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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