About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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