Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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