So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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