I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
