Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
