Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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