in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
