she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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