You smell like stripper and shame
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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