ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
