ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
