At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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