She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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