Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize