We won't sleep together?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The adults are the big ones right?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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