would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wear drunk well.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
