How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
