In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
