Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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