I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
