White coat. Heels.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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