There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
