i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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