i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
