More tranny stories later!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
