I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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