Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
