as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
