I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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