Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
