Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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