smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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