Dual....:-)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
