My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
