i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
someone owes me an orgasm
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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