Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
