her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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