Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
