i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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