i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my shit smells like andre
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
