I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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