her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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