No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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