and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
