Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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