Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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