the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
tell me about the fingering
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