There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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