The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
