i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
