so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
