whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
