It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
