I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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