im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
