I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
