Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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