I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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