Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
