you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You are a genius and a whore.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your penis caused this!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
