my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
