are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
