He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
