I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
